The Targets - September 3, 2006

Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes' Baby Suri 'Poop' Bronzed - "The Capla Gallery insist the sculpture - which was also reportedly based on the popular children's book 'Everybody Poops' - has great depth and is actually a social comment on the culture of celebrity." -- I promised myself no "poop" jokes, but really, who gives a shit about this?

"Desperate" Sex Hits YouTube, ABC Freaks - "Having fans type "Desperate sex" into their Web browsers was apparently not the sort of grassroots marketing campaign ABC was hoping for to hype one of its top shows."

"The Wicker Man" unintentionally funny - "Unlikely to inspire a passionate following similar to the original, the film, which opened Friday without screened in advance for critics, ultimately induces more titters than dread." -- I really enjoyed the original.

'Not Yet Rated' Not Likely to Overhaul Film Ratings - "I'd like to say "This Film Is Not Yet Rated" is a quality hit job on the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA), the panel of mostly anonymous people who decide a film's rating (G, PG, PG-13, R or NC-17). But it's not.:"

Feedback wins Who Wants to be a Superhero - "Software engineer Matthew Atherton beat out the last remaining contestant, Fat Momma, to win the inaugural edition of Sci-Fi's Who Wants To Be A Superhero. His alter-ego, Feedback, will now be featured in a Stan Lee comic, disrupting electronics while fighting for justice and fair play."

New Bond actor has 'Infamous' kiss with man - "No doubt there are plenty of on-screen kisses in store for Daniel Craig as the new James Bond. But none will be more talked about than the one that premiered at the Venice Film Festival." -- Because we have nothing else to talk about today?

Quint & Harry debate George Romero's concept for his next ZOMBIE movie, DIARY OF THE DEAD!!! - "This is the AOL IM conversation between Harry and Quint tonight, regarding George Romero’s upcoming independent zombie film, DIARY OF THE DEAD. Quint will be Blue… Harry will be Black… Enjoy." -- I'm not sure what to make of the new Romero idea.

JESSICA: THINKS SHE'S BOOTYLICIOUS? - "In two television appearances this week, Jessica Simpson took the opportunity to talk about — no not her rumored romance with John Mayer — but her butt."

MTV Awards Suffer Big Hit in Ratings - "The downward spiral of the MTV Video Music Awards' TV performance continued Thursday night as the ceremony's audience plunged from last year and VMA fans headed online."

Shields: Cruise gave 'heartfelt apology' - "The 41-year-old actress says Cruise apologized in person Thursday." -- Whip-dee-do!

Aniston settles suit over topless photos - "The 37-year-old actress sued Peter Brandt in December 2005, claiming he invaded her privacy by using a telephoto lens to photograph her inside her home when she was topless or partly dressed."

Rosie's New View - "After a four-year hiatus, O'Donnell returns as part of TV's most beloved coffee klatch. An exclusive talk about her career, her critics and the Star Jones mess." -- I know you have nothing else to think about right now.

VH1 launches Sizemore, Clay realities - "The U.S. cable channel VH1 is launching two reality series focused on celebrities in their 40s trying to make comebacks -- Andrew Dice Clay and Tom Sizemore." -- Just what the world needs!

Jittery CBS affiliates balk at "9/11" documentary - "Dozens of CBS television affiliates are balking at network plans to rebroadcast the acclaimed documentary "9/11" for fear that coarse language by firefighters in the film may incur stiff new fines for indecency."

Top directors in Venice slam Bush, Hollywood - "Top directors used the Venice Film Festival on Friday to excoriate the Bush administration, the war in Iraq and Hollywood itself, and presented three starkly different movies to express their views."

Want to dress like Hef? Playboy launches menswear - "Seeking to expand its lucrative licensing business, Playboy Enterprises Inc. has launched a line of menswear that represents a hip departure from the silk smoking jackets favored by its 80-year-old founder, Hugh Hefner."

Book Publishing Turns The Page, Thanks To Technology - " It used to require an army of middlemen to publish a book. ... Now technology is rewriting the book on publishing. A number of companies help writers publish books, either on paper or online."

Story, video: Apaches go public with Bigfoot sightings - "Footprints in the mud. Tufts of hair on a fence. Ear-piercing screeches in the night. These are only fragments of the stories now coming from the White Mountains in Eastern Arizona. For years the White Mountain Apache Nation has kept the secret within tribal boundaries. “We're not prone to easily talk to outsiders,” said spokeswoman Collette Altaha. “But there have been more sightings than ever before. It cannot be ignored any longer.” It is a creature the world knows as “Bigfoot”."

Solar-powered wheelchair (not as bad as you think) - "The rig consists of a pair of 20-watt solar panels that deliver the 24 volts required by the wheelchair, which, when not in use, can be detached or double as a handy umbrella."